Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument
- You never win through argument.
- The resentment last long.
- It’s more powerful to agree with actions.
- Demonstrate, do not explain.
The core of this law is that you should avoid arguments at all costs. If you start an argument you will automatically put your opposite on the defensive and thus make it much harder to persuade him!
Example: You work in sales and have a customer who talks nicely about his current product. You tell him how awesome your product is and belittle his purchase. An argument arises and maybe you will be able to convince him, that your product really is a much better choice and that he wasted his money. Big success! You walk out of the door with the feeling “Oh boy I showed him!” but without any sale. You both lose. Better try a more subtle approach, agree with him (no matter how stupid he sounds) and prove him wrong following the principle of don’t explicate, demonstrate
If you were invited to a dinner and the host thinks a quote from Shakespeare was actually made by Mickey Mouse, why argue? You have nothing at all to gain. Think of him as a fool and get over your ego. If you can’t get over your ego and have the urge to prove him wrong, take out your phone, say well I might be wrong but I believe this quote comes from Shakespeare and show him the source of the quote. This will make him resent you less than if you would start an argument.
ALWAYS ASK YOURSELF: What’s in it for me, what is to be gained if I start an argument.
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