The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work: #2 Nurture Your Fondness & Admiration

The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work

By: John Gottman

“Nurture your fondness and admiration.” Happy couples respect each other and have a general positive view of each other. Gottman says that fondness and admiration are two of the most important elements in a satisfying and long-term relationship. If these elements are completely missing, the marriage can’t be saved.

Gottman includes a helpful activity to remind couples of the partner they fell in love with called “I appreciate.” He suggests readers list three or more of their partner’s positive characteristics along with an incident that illustrates each quality. Then read your lists to each other.

This stuff sounds corny but I definitely believe in the power of positive thinking. I think it is important to still get excited to see your partner even after years of the same routine. Everyone wants to feel wanted, everyone wants to feel admired, & for this reason I believe it is vital to nurture the fondness and admiration we have for our significant others. This must be an active practice. Happily ever after doesn’t just happen it comes with daily choices and one of those choices must be to actively cultivate the fondness we have for our partners.

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